Only children don’t have to share bedrooms, toys, or the backseat of a car. They don’t have to share allowances, inheritances, or their parents’ attention. But when they get into trouble, they can’t just blame their imaginary friends. In Only Child, twenty-one acclaimed writers tell the truth about life without siblings—the bliss of solitude, the ache of loneliness, and everything in between.

In this unprecedented collection, writers like Judith Thurman, Kathryn Harrison, John Hodgman, and Peter Ho Davies reflect on the single, transforming episode that defined each of them as an only child. For some it came while lurking around the edges of a friend’s boisterous family, longing to be part of the chaos. For others, it came in sterile hospital halls, while single-handedly caring for a parent with cancer. They write about the parents who raised them, from the devoted to the dismissive. They describe what it’s like to be an only child of divorce, an only because of the death of a sibling, an only who reveled in it or an only who didn’t.

In candid, poignant, and often hilarious essays, these authors—including the children of Erica Jong, Alice Walker, and Phyllis Rose—explore a lifetime of onliness. As adults searching for partners, they are faced with the unique challenge of trying to turn a longtime trio into a quartet. In deciding whether to give junior a sib, they weigh the benefits of producing the friend they never had against the fear that they will not know how to divide their love and attention among multiples. As they watch their parents age, they come face-to-face with the onus of being their family’s sole historian.

Whether you’re an only child curious about how your experiences compare to others’, the partner or spouse of an only, a parent pondering whether to stop at one, or someone with siblings who’s always wondered how the other half lives, Only Child offers a look behind the scenes and into the hearts of twenty-one smart and sensitive writers as they reveal the truth about growing up—and being a grown-up—solo.


From the Hardcover edition.

This article is meant to encourage those who are homeschooling an only child as they go forward in their homeschool journey.

There’s nothing to lift the spirits like having someone come alongside to say, “Keep it up! You can do this!” If homeschooling seems a little daunting today, listen in as Mary Healy and Shannon Healy, a mother and daughter that have completed the home education journey, join host Mike Smith, on Home School Heartbeat.

I don't have any sisters or brothers, so I can identify with those who are homeschooling an only child. Growing up, well meaning friends and strangers encouraged my single mother to "give" me a brother or sister, saying that I was surely lonely, or destined to become spoiled rotten.

Large families make up one of homeschooling’s stereotypes–a line of eight or more children, all following obediently behind Mom and Dad. Those of us who have been homeschooling long know both the truths and the realities of this picture. The truth is that plenty of families, large or small, find a way to make homeschooling work beautifully for them. But what about families who only have one child? Is homeschooling really an option for these parents and children? To find out, let’s take a brief look at the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling an only child.

When most people think of homeschooling, they automatically think of a large family. A family with at least five or six kids and a mom in a denim jumpsuit that has everything organized like a well oiled machine. While that stereotype still exists in some families, homeschoolers come in all shapes and sizes including a large number of families who now homeschool an only child.

Families with only one child have almost the exact same concerns regarding their child’s “only child status”: Are they getting enough time with other children their own age? Are we doing enough to prepare this child to interact with their peers? Are we “spoiling” this child? Will this child be prepared for life on their own or will they expect everything to go their own way?

When we made the decision to homeschool, the questions started again. Can you homeschool an only child? How do you homeschool an only child? Don’t you want to send her to public school for socialization? What about friends? This essay addresses these common concerns.

We are a unique breed. The family that has an only child. Look around, most families have 2 0r 3 children. Then in homeschool world we are quite the exception. Even stereotype concludes that homeschooling families mostly have 5, 6 or 10 students. So an only child who is homeschooled is considered strange.

Homeschooling is challenging for multiple reasons. But overall, an only child family is the perfect scenario for homeschooling. If you look back in history, one-on-one tutoring was the preferred method of education. so while there are minor disadvantages, the advantages far outweigh them.

Many parents of single children toy with the idea of homeschooling their child at least once during their child’s tenure at school. The trend of homeschooling is indeed catching on with growth rate of 7 to 15 percent per year. It is estimated that there are currently two million children coming under the homeschooling program. They are reported to be performing on par with regular schoolchildren at college, universities and at work.

"Only" children lack even the fellowship of siblings; therefore, especially if they have a very social personality, friendships must be found outside the home. For better or worse, traditional school is where many children make their friends, an option obviously closed to homeschoolers.

When you embark on a new adventure, it’s important to know what’s ahead. If you’re thinking about homeschooling an only child, listen to this podcast. In it, a mother and daughter join host Mike Smith to share their experience with home education for one.

Your family is simple – mom, dad, child. Homeschooling an only child has to be simple, right? You can get through all of the daily assignments without having to worry about teaching the other siblings, or bouncing a baby in your lap. This isn’t quite the case. Instead, homeschoolers of an only child face their own unique challenges.

Homeschoolers report that it is sometimes more difficult to homeschool one child versus two or more children. Many parents report that it is easy to place too much pressure on a single child, as the child is the sole focus of the parent’s day. Clashes may also arise between a parent and a single homeschooler as they are together for a large part of the day. Both parents and single homeschooled children report that they sometimes feel smothered by each other. Some children also feel lonely.

Looking around at the homeschool families you know in your co-op, support group, or church, you might observe that most consist of more than one child. In fact, a 2006 National Center for Education report found that families with three or more children make up 62% of the homeschool population. If you're one of the few with an only child at home, you may be asking yourself the question, "Can I homeschool my only child?"

An only child deserves an excellent education and formation, as does any other child. Don’t deny your child, just because he is your only one, the benefits of homeschooling. Make it work. The home educated only child will profit ten-fold from your daily guidance in how to become a good and decent person by watching you in your daily life. The majority of his life will be spent as an adult so this training is of utmost importance. We have been fed a pile of lies to think that our child’s ability to socialize consists in getting along with a multitude of kids his own age.

Do you ever feel like every homeschooling family you've met has at least five children? If you have an only child, don't be intimidated--you, too, can homeschool! This podcast features a discussion lead by Mike Smith about the benefits and challenges of homeschooling an only child.

Two questions are asked with surprisingly equal frequency: "How can I teach more than one child at a time?" and "How can I homeschool my only child?" It is true that the only-child presents his own unique situation to homeschooling. While it may be simpler to prepare and execute lessons for only one student, there are also many educational scenarios in which only one student presents a distinct disadvantage.

Is it right to homeschool your only child? People will tell you that you must send your "only" to school so that he/she will have the chance to socialize. "Your child will be lonely at home without other children." Is this true? Or can you successfully homeschool an only child? The participants on HomeschoolChristian.com's message boards offer their thoughts on this topic.

We all know that homeschooling has its advantages. But is homeschooling an only detrimental to your child’s development? I shared many challenges of homeschooling an only child as well as socialization ideas for homeschooling onlies. However, the advantages of homeschooling just one far outweigh the obstacles you have to overcome.

Jenni Ryan shares resources and life experiences about raising a single child and homeschooling.

Rhonda Clark blogs about life homeschooling an only child.

This homeschooling journey is shared by a mom who is homeschooling her only child.

This blog shares the experience of homeschooling an only child.

Marcy shares her life with her son Ben, an adopted only child, who she is homeschooling.

Diane Knect is homeschooling an only child. Share her experiences with raising her daughter Grace in a homeschooling small family.

This lovely blog chronicles the journey of a grandmother homeschooling a single granddaughter.

This blog chronicles the joys of raising and homeschooling an only son.

A homeschool mom and her only son share their homeschooling adventure.

This list is dedicated to families homeschooling only-children. These families have unique socialization issues and must often be super-creative in their solutions. Join this list if you are homeschooling a wonderful Only.

Homeschooling offers special challenges (as well as blessings) to those who have only one student. Find help and camaraderie in "HOOville." HOO = Homeschooling Only One.

Are you homeschooling an only child? Or perhaps your other children are grown (or infants) and there's just one whom you homeschool? Or are your other children in public or private school and there's just one at home during the day? Is there such a large age gap between your children that each child feels like an only? Then this group is for you. All homeschoolers are welcome: new, old, school-at-homers, and unschoolers.

CM for One (CMfor1) is a message board for families home educating an only child and using the Charlotte Mason Method.

Homeschooling an only child can be quite challenging at times. This group is open to anyone for support, enrouragement and ideas for those who choose the home-schooling road for you and your child. Although they are based in NC, anyone can join for support. They have a database that you can access to see who is in your state to get together with.

This group is for parents who are currently (or are considering) homeschooling their only child.

HOO = Homeschooling Only One. Where a family's a family, no matter how small!© Homeschooling offers special challenges (as well as blessings) to those who have only one student. Find help and camaraderie here! We are a group of Christian homeschoolers, but have open arms to anyone who is in the same boat--homeschooling an only, a firstborn, secondborn, grandchild, etc.

Homeschooling families with singletons have issues that are very unique. Join in to offer support and encouragement to other single child homeschooling families.